There are bad tattoos and there are bad tattoos. Tramp stamps. Mis-spelt words in gothic script. Those spiky arm designs that people who spend too much in the gym inevitably get at some point in their lives.
But there’s one particular subset of bad tattoos that are almost an artform in themselves: tattoos of rock stars.
The idea of getting the fizzog of your favourite singer or guitarist inked onto your body is the ultimate statement of fandom. Hey, if you like Marilyn Manson that much, who are we to say you shouldn’t have a permanent reminder of the God Of Fuck etched onto your back?
But as any tattooist will tell you, the problem is that faces are notoriously hard to get right, and that you should think twice before going down that route. To prove it, we’ve scoured the furthest reaches of the internet to find the very worst tattoos of rock stars we could find and then artfully photoshopped them onto the real thing.
The result is truly terrifying. If you bumped into any of these monstrous visages in a dark alley, you’d run a mile. Onstage in front of thousands of people? Well… best not think about that one.
Look on this as friendly advice from us to you. Get a tattoo, impress your friends, let the world know you’re a rebel. But never, ever have Ozzy Osbourne’s face on your upper leg. You’ll thank us in the long run.
Axl Rose
A fair representation of the Guns N’ Roses singer’s face. If his face was a slowly deflating beach ball with a bandana on top, that is.
Angus Young
Remember that film where the doll comes to life at night and starts murdering everyone around it? Yeah, us too…
Dave Grohl
The Foo Fighters frontman has a reputation as the nicest man in rock. Not after seeing this monstrosity, he won’t be.
Fred Durst (Limp Bzikit)
We thought nothing could make this clown more ridiculous. We were wrong.
James Hetfield
Whoever did this tattoo, be warned: Papa Het is armed and angry.
Amy Lee
Blair Witch: The Goth Years.
Jimi Hendrix
The world’s greatest guitarist is spinning in his grave.
Jim Morrison (The Doors)
Shamanic Hindu love-god or bloke with really bad food poisoning?
Maynard James Keenan (Tool)
You know that recurring nightmare you have about being beaten up by a demonic nightclub bouncer? This is what it looks like.
Freddie Mercury
At least they got the teeth right.
Ozzy Osbourne
“Hello Mr Tattooist, I’d like a tattoo of Ozzy Osbourne, if Ozzy Osbourne had the worst kind of medieval skin complaint imaginable, please…”
Nikki Sixx
At least we think it is. Frankly, it could be fucking anybody.
