HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FISTFIGHT WITH A BANDMATE?
“Once with our ex-drummer, which ended up as an embarrassingly violent hug-type clinch on the floor. I figured that if it went further it would have meant the end of the tour, which was a US tour with The Darkness. SPIN magazine were doing an on-the-road report on The Darkness and couldn’t get enough meat on those fellows, so we took the lions’ share of that big, shiny feature when it came out.”/o:p
WHAT’S THE STRANGEST RUMOUR YOU’VE HEARD ABOUT YOURSELF?
“There have been so many, from stalkers telling my girlfriends that we are lovers, to people reporting me to the CIA because of things they’d seen and experienced on the astral plane, to simply me being dead.”/o:p
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ARRESTED?
“I once spent a couple of weeks in a Thai jail for not having a visa. I was initially arrested for being drunk and disorderly, having a scrap in a pub with someone, and was shoved into the Bangkok Hilton, the famous Thailand nick, for a stay. The trouble was, I was buying over-the-counter Valium and blacking out like a pensioner on a regular basis. The day I was supposed to fly home being the day of the incident in question. By the time I woke in jail, my visa had run out. That’s a serious offence in Thai law.”
WHAT’S THE WORST THING YOU’VE EVER DONE ON A DATE?
“I’ve been too drunk or high to have been considered essential company in the past, but for the most part I’m very respectful to women. I was brought up by women only and consider disrespecting females in any way to be a wanker’s trick, based on the fact that I’ve seen wankers in my own life do just that.”
WHAT’S YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE DRUG?
“Ecstasy, probably. I just never got on with it. I used to try and keep up with Rich Battersby [The Wildhearts’ drummer], who could ingest inhuman amounts of the stuff, but after a few pills I’d be like a broken clothes horse with no increased love for anyone. I couldn’t even see anyone to love – they all just seemed like gurning liquid faces talking in Greek.”
WHAT’S YOUR MOST DISGUSTING PERSONAL HABIT?
“I don’t wash my hair. I love having ratty-as-fuck hair when I’m growing it out and that works better if I don’t wash it. Thing is, I’ve been told my hair smells great even when I don’t wash it, and it does look pretty awesome when it’s all gnarly and feral. If I washed my hair when I grow it, and brushed it regularly, then it would look like Dave Mustaine’s hair, and I really don’t want to look like Dave Mustaine.”
WHERE’S THE WEIRDEST PLACE YOU’VE EVER WOKEN UP AFTER A NIGHT OUT?
“Waking up in a Thai prison takes some beating, but the strangest one has to be in an airport, trying to work out why there was a spinning turnstile with only my guitar on and I was sat next to my luggage, which was on fire. I’d been recently sacked from The Throbs in NYC and made it onto a plane after an Olympic drinking session. The last thing I remember was taking some downers and the pilot informing us we had to vacate the plane.”
HAVE YOU EVER RUINED A SHOW BY BEING SHITFACED?
“A show in Dublin with The Wildhearts comes to mind, although I don’t remember much about it other than we went on late, made a fucking awful racket and had a huge argument onstage. We were ejected from the stage after about 10 minutes and never got paid, or asked back to Dublin again.”
WHAT IS THE MOST EXTRAVAGANT THING YOU’VE EVER BOUGHT?
“At my worst time on the crack pipe I was down to my final money in the bank, which I could have just spent on rock [crack] or on rock’n’roll and bought something practical, like a guitar. I chose the latter option and blew the lot on an expensive guitar, which I still have.”
WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER SUFFERED?
“Oh, there have been a few. I burned 60 cigarettes into my arm once, which went very septic indeed. We were in NYC making a video when it reached its fragrant peak and I was urged to visit a pharmacy. On lifting my sleeve the fella turned green, and told me to get to a hospital immediately. I was told that they might have to amputate. My girlfriend at the time was a nurse. She took some wire wool and literally scraped the rotting flesh from the wound until she reached fresh flesh. Unless I get the chance to give birth I will never feel as much pain again.”
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