Halloween is coming up, isn't it? And you'll want to dress up, won't you? You'll want to look the best, won't you? But you don't have any money, do you? DO NOT WORRY, whatever you do, because Metal Hammer is here to help. We have some suggestions for cheap-as-chips metal costumes that'll blow your mate's poxy Power Rangers morphsuit out the water.
(It's probably not a good idea to actually try any of these)
Shawn 'Clown' Crahan
What You’ll Need
A blue or red boiler suit (£5 on eBay)
A tomato
A bottle of Coke
A marker pen
A swimming hat
Some spaghetti
Some Swizzels Matlow Fun Gums Juicy Lips
A baseball bat
What You’ll Need To Do
Put on the boiler suit (obviously, you idiot)
Slice a small cut into the tomato and place it on your nose
Peel off the barcode on the label of the Coke and glue it to your chest
Draw some big eyebrows on your face
Put the swimming hat on
Cook the spaghetti and glue it to the side of your head
Eat all the fun gums apart from one, which should be licked and stuck to your lips
Use the baseball bat to bang absolutely anything and everything in sight really hard
There you have it – you’re now Clown!
King Diamond
What You’ll Need
A hat (from a charity shop)
Tipp-Ex
A black marker pen
Some black jeans
Some army boots
An old black blazer (use your old school one)
A black polo neck A cross necklace
What You’ll Need To Do
Cover your entire face with Tipp-Ex
Draw upside-down crosses all over it with the black marker
Put on the black jeans and the black polo neck
Then force on your too-small blazer
Put the necklace on (these can be found for cheap in Argos)
Stick your tongue out and scream a lot
There you have it – you’re now King Diamond!
Gene Simmons
What You’ll Need
Black paint
Silver paint
Three feather dusters
Some knee-pads
Some ice-cream cones
Two 2-litre bottles of Coke
Six paper plates
Some Y-fronts
A black T-shirt
A garden trowel
Some black tights
Some tin foil
Some novelty alligator slippers
What You’ll Need To Do
Paint the palms of your hands black and then print them immediately onto your face
Paint the feather dusters black and glue two to the sides of your head and one on top
Glue the ice cream cones upside down onto the knee-pads and wrap them around your shoulders
Cut the top and bottom off your Coke bottles
Paint them silver and place them over your forearms
Paint the paper plates silver and arrange them over your chest and stomach
Put the Y-fronts on (you pervert), and the black t-shirt
Place the trowel over your crotch area
Don the black tights (actually, probably best to do this before you put the Y-fronts on)
Wrap the tin foil around the bottom half of both legs and pop the alligator slippers on
There you have it – you’re now Gene Simmons!
Slash
What You’ll Need
A mop
A black top hat (or if you can’t find one, a bin)
Some black aviators
A black vest (whichever one you own)
Some black jeans
Some army boots
What You’ll Need To Do
Put the sunglasses on
Put the mop on your head and brush it to the sides of your face
Put the hat (or bin) on your head
Put the vest, trousers and boots on
Keep playing guitar outside churches
There you have it – you’re now Slash!
Marilyn Manson
What You’ll Need
A white morph suit
Some tomato ketchup
A long wig
Some crayons
Two balls (tennis, basket, even a fucking apple)
What You’ll Need To Do
Put the white morph on but don’t put it over your head yet
Put the wig on
Coat the wig in the tomato ketchup (probably best to use the whole bottle, just to be sure)
Stick the two balls down your neck so they are positioned under the morph suit on your chest
Draw a wacky face on your face
Offend people’s parents
There you have it – you’re now Marilyn Manson!
Fred Durst
What You’ll Need
A red fitted New York Yankees baseball cap
Some Adidas Shell Tops
A crotch
A kazoo
A mate who’s willing to take the ‘fancy dress’ theme to extremes
And ATTITUDE (lots of it)
What You’ll Need To Do
Put the hat on, BUT MAKE SURE IT’S FACING BACKWARDS
Put on your Adidas Shell Tops, it doesn’t really matter if you’re not wearing anything else – people will get the idea
Grab your crotch a lot
Rap through your kazoo so your voice sounds all high and weird
Hang out with your mate who has a way better costume than you
There you have it – you’re now Fred Durst!
Rob Halford
What You’ll Need
A leather jacket (get one from a charity shop otherwise you’ll have to spend BUCKS)
Tipp-Ex
Aviators
Black jeans
Army boots
White paint
Pritt Stick
A ginger cat
What You’ll Need To Do
Cut the sleeves off the leather jacket, then cut the forearms off the sleeves
Put the sleeveless jacket on
Put the lower sleeves on
Dot the jacket and sleeves with Tipp-Ex (Magic! You’re covered in studs!)
Put your black jeans on and paint white reflections on them to make them look like leather (real leather trousers are too expensive)
Put your army boots on (on your feet, not anywhere else)
Put your sunglasses on
Take the ginger cat, shave it, and glue its fur onto your mouth area, making sure you don’t get any in your mouth (unless you like that sort of thing)
There you have it – you’re now Rob Halford!
Lemmy
What You’ll Need
A black shirt
Black jeans
Two pieces of corn
A necklace of dubious iconography
A hat (take your choice, really, as long as it’s got a brim)
A big belt with a huge buckle (you probably bought one when you were a teenager)
Black paint
A pair of white wellington boots
What You’ll Need To Do
Spend the previous two days before you need to wear the costume screaming, this will ensure that your voice is as gruff as Vin Diesel after smoking 30 cigarettes
Put the shirt on
Put the jeans on
Put the necklace on
Put the white wellington boots on but paint black stars on the front
Put the hat on (on top of your head, not the bottom of it)
Put the giant belt on
Glue the two pieces of corn to your left cheek
There you have it – you’re now Lemmy!
Angus Young
What You’ll Need
Your old school uniform
Some plimsolls
Baby oil
A leg that likes stamping up and down
An extremely malleable face
What You’ll Need To Do
Find your old school uniform (marvel at how much of a huge beast you now are)
Shake your head at the mere thought of getting that tiny uniform on
Cover yourself in baby oil
Use the lubrication to force on your microscopic school clothes
No, keep going, you can get it on
Come on, get those shorts on
There we go
Next, stamp around the shop like some sort of human pneumatic drill
Pull as many weird faces as you can whilst banging your head back and forwards and sweating profusely
There you have it – you’re now Angus Young!
Oderus Urungus
What You’ll Need
Cabbage
Two ice cream cones (without the ice cream)
Two bicycle helmets
Two spades
Two two-litre bottles of Coke
A load of drawing pins
A brown bath mat
Two plastic skeleton masks
A rubber pig’s nose
A strap-on dildo
Black tights
Silver spray paint
A pair of novelty monster feet slippers
What You’ll Need To Do
Cut the tops and bottoms off the two bottles of Coke and spray them silver
Stick a load of upturned drawing pins to them (for spikes, innit)
Put them over your forearms
Sellotape the brown bath mat to your chest
Stick the two helmets over your shoulders
Strap the two spades to your back so that they protrude out of your shoulders
Stick the pig nose on
Stick the cones on your head
Glue a load of cabbage to your face
Put the black tights on
Pop on the strap-on
Strap the two plastic skeleton masks to your knees
Put the novelty slippers on
Stomp around the place talking bollocks and screaming
Be amazing
There you have it – you’re now Oderus Urungus!
All illustrations by Gary Ogden.
