"Papa has rotating glands under his cloak": The confessions of a Nameless Ghoul

A photograph of Papa Emeritus and a Nameless Ghoul on stage

It must get hot under those cloaks. Do you ever feel like taking off your mask and revealing your identity?

“Yes.”

Who gets more chicks: Papas or Nameless Ghouls?

“Papa definitely gets most Mamas.”

So surely you must get jealous of Papa Emeritus. Do you ever think about overthrowing him and taking his spot in the band?

“He’s the magnet of carnal pleasures, being the only one of us to get publicly recognised, and since that sod can’t handle all the birds coming his way, we are happy to get what’s coming to us for solace.”

And what is your most memorable groupie experience?

“Unfortunately, it’s a little bit like they say about having experienced the 60s. If you remember it, you weren’t really there.”

So what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done on a date?

“After mentioning how well-endowed Papa is, I had to spend the rest of the night telling the girl to snap out of it – she continuously seemed dreaming and drooling.”

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen while high?

“After our latest performance, a few of us got an accidental glimpse of what our Papa hides underneath his cloak. It appeared to actually have rotating glands and was sort of vibrating by itself. I can’t tell if it was ‘the green’, but I can tell you that I turned green after that…”

So surely you must get jealous of Papa Emeritus. Do you ever think about overthrowing him and taking his spot in the band?

“He’s the magnet of carnal pleasures, being the [only one of us to get publicly recognised, and since that sod can’t handle all the birds coming his way, we are happy to get what’s coming to us for solace.”

And what is your most memorable groupie experience?

“Unfortunately, it’s a little bit like they say about having experienced the 60s. If you remember it, you weren’t really there.”

So what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done on a date?

“After mentioning how well-endowed Papa is, I had to spend the rest of the night telling the girl to snap out of it – she continuously seemed dreaming and drooling.”

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen while high?

“After our latest performance, a few of us got an accidental glimpse of what our Papa hides underneath his cloak. It appeared to actually have rotating glands and was sort of vibrating by itself. I can’t tell if it was ‘the green’, but I can tell you that I turned green after that…”

Have you got any phobias or irrational fears?

“That a future Mrs Ghoul might be subjected to a display of Papa’s device.”

What is the strangest thing a fan has ever given you?

“Female underwear. It’s a very strange gift. I mean, don’t they understand that we are guys and we wear boxer shorts? It is very inconsiderate.”

What was the moment you realised you’d made it as a rockstar?

“When Papa II actually recognised my presence as OK on our last ministry meeting. It was definitely a sign that I was starting to make it!”

With great stardom often comes great ego. Have you ever uttered the words: “But don’t you know who I am?!”

“I have actually – several times in fact, but Papa II is just as inconsiderate as Papa I, and will hush you and then ask you to leave the backstage area.”

What’s the worst fight you have ever been in?

“When Papa II ordered the dogs to be unleashed on me. This happened right after he gave me the feeling of having made it.”

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been called?

“Well, we just had to change our name to Ghost B.C. in the US.”

What’s the worst enemy you’ve ever made?

“It’s tough to say, there are a lot of them out there but Papa II is definitely a contender.”

Who are Ghost and what do they want?

A Nameless Ghoul's guide to the new Ghost album

The 10 best Beatles songs as chosen by A Nameless Ghoul from Ghost

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