Looking at our 100 Best Albums Of 2017 list, you’d think that this year was jam packed with absolute solid-gold music. And while the past twelve months have seen some truly incredible music released onto the world (Mastodon, Code Orange, Myrkur, Converge, Grave Pleasures, Employed To Serve…), not everything reviewed in the pages of Metal Hammer has been worthy of repeat listens. We have scoured the reviews section from January to December and come up with the definitive 10 worst albums of the year. They’re not bad albums, they’re just worse than most.
Dead Witches – Dead Witches
What we said:
“Recorded in the same studio as Dopethrone, the music, lyrics and even songtitles suggest an uninspired imitation of both that landmark album and the current incarnation of Electric Wizard and is likely to cause more conflict with [Mark Greening’s] former bandmates.”
Weltesser – Crestfallen
What we said:
“Crestfallen is an appropriate title for these Floridans’ debut – not just because the teardrop doom they embark upon is the sort to approximate your life’s worst experiences, but because the lack of flair, pizzazz or anything that prevents them from falling into a pool of generic doom will leave you feeling like something is missing.”
Davey Suicide – Made From Fire
What we said:
“Also grating is the palpable longing to appear subversive and edgy, but lyrics like ‘There’s too many freaks and not enough circuses’ lack the bite and danger his influences brought to the table. Sadly there’s nothing here anyone hasn’t seen and heard done better before.”
Vomit Angel – Sadomatic Evil
What we said:
“The genre is renowned for its sloppiness, but here Vomit Angel have mistaken it for laziness. Most tracks sound like unfinished sketches – not least the 25-second-long grind nugget, Cotard – and the fact that the best songs are the two bonus versions of Sadogoat songs really says it all.”
Powerman 5000 – New Wave
What we said:
“New Wave is yet another album of stomping, industrialised party metal, that at best is all a bit dated and trite, and at worst is desperately dunderheaded cack that makes Five Finger Death Punch sound like Devin Townsend.”
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Imminence – This Is Goodbye
What we said:
“Production-wise, the proverbial kitchen sink has been thrown at this album; subsequently, it suffocates under uninspired beats and off-the-peg electronic elements that aim for the experimental but too frequently land at sub-Top 40 cheese.”
Reptil – Throne Of Collapse
What we said:
“Reptil are almost experimental in their defiant refusal to deliver something – anything – to hook the listener in. Throw on Pretty Hate Machine instead.”
Santa Cruz – Bad Blood Rising
What we said:
“Compare this to the life-affirming AOR bombast of H.E.A.T or the thrilling, radio-rock gloss of The Night Flight Orchestra and be instantly appalled that this exists at all. Classic rock, yerarse. This is horrible.”
Wormwitch – Strike Mortal Soil
What we said:
“It’s a pretty toothless start from a band with a bad name and no arrogance or sense of abandon. Do yourself a favour and go listen to Midnight or Gehennah instead.”
Eskimo Callboy – The Scene
What we said:
“[Eskimo Callboy] combine Fisher-Price metalcore with electronic elements that would’ve sounded tired years ago. It’d almost be funny if it wasn’t so confused.”
You can read our full 2017 review in the latest issue of Metal Hammer – in stores now. Buy it directly here or become a TeamRock+ member to read it right now.
