Back when the UK still had weekly music magazines - iconic titles such as Kerrang!, NME, Melody Maker and Sounds - having rock stars visit the editorial offices to review singles by their peers was always an entertaining highlight of the working week.
Back in 1999, while working for Kerrang!, this writer had the pleasure of sitting down with Type O Negative frontman Peter Steele as he cast a critical eye over the latest releases, eventually choosing Cave, the second single from new British rock trio Muse, as his Single Of The Week.
“That chick has a great voice,” Steele noted approvingly.
At this point, I had to inform the dry-witted New Yorker that the “chick” in question was actually a young man named Matt Bellamy.
“It’s a guy?” Steele asked, genuinely astonished. “Whoa, there goes my erection! When I listen to his voice I feel like someone is tickling my penis with a feather.”
You didn't get that sort of analysis from Nick Kent or Robert Christgau.
In July 1985, the task of reviewing one week's singles in Melody Maker fell to Shane MacGowan, The Pogues' poetic, bon viveur frontman. And MacGowan, to his credit, was nothing if not honest when sharing his opinions on the songs played to him.
Robert Fripp's Network? “A pile of shit.” That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore by The Smiths? “The usual pile of self-indulgent miserable crap.” Dire Straits' timeless classic Money For Nothing? “That sounds like a Stones album track… and I can’t think of anything that's worse than that!”
Ouch.
As a former teenage punk, MacGowan had nicer things to say about the Ramones' Bonzo Goes To Bitburg.
“I like this one even though it’s a bit slow-tempoed for them,” he mused. “I suppose the Ramones have slowed down over the years. It’s a grower, as they say in the business, and it’s got the title of the week. They’re still a hundred times better than most of the shit that I’ve had to listen to this week.”
Nico's My Funny Valentine also found favour with the singer.
“I really like this one. She’s a great singer in her own particular style, and it sounds like a record with something in it – something more to offer. It’s as maudlin as The Smiths, but The Smiths send you to sleep before you can even get out the razor.”
And The Pogues' man's Single Of The Week? Well, that was a reissue of Deep Purple's Black Night, reissued, we're guessing, as a belated tie in with the reunion of the Mk. II line-up the previous year. Whatever, MacGowan was digging it.
“Definitely single of the week,” he enthused. “They’re back! The cover’s even got a colour picture of Jon Lord making love to his organ. It’s a no-bullshit song that’s got guts and a Ritchie Blackmore guitar solo. It’s loud, it’s obnoxious, it’s brainless, and it’s got everything that’s missing from most of the other crap that’s out this week. It’s definitely not music for wimps. Here’s evidence that they should have given them £2 million to reform, not just one. I don’t think I’ll ever be going to see them live, but the classic records are still classics.”
Shane MacGowan, Deep Purple fan. You live and learn...
