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If you like Suzi Quatro and The Shangri-las and Coca-Cola straight from the bottle and roller-skating and crackly vinyl records and satin jackets and the Ramones and all-girl gangs and drag races and movies about googly-eyed monsters chasing teenagers across the beach, then holy smokes do I have the perfect album for you.

Came from the sky like a 747. Classic Rock’s least-reputable byline-grabber since 2003. Several decades deep into the music industry. Got fired from an early incarnation of Anal C**t after one show. 30 years later, got fired from the New York Times after one week. Likes rock and hates everything else. Still believes in Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction, against all better judgment.

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